Sunday, November 22, 2015
Dreams.. Dreams..
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Restarted Train Diaries Series.
I had completely settled down at my side lower berth. On my right side were a family with two kids (the boy looked younger), and two men and two women. I could guess the kids belonged to the middle aged couple. The other couple seemed to be newly married. The man was pretty serious once in a while hushing his whenever she said something. The kids were playing their usual games jumping up and down from the berths while their parent had their usual tough time controlling them.
I fished out my James Hadley Chase novel and started reading it. I always enjoyed reading Hadley’s novels during journeys as they were more like Masala popcorn covered in an air tight bag, bursting at the right time with all elements of suspense and thrill.
Suddenly I saw a bespectacled guy bumping into my berth. “Oh god, I thought it was S6 and went into S9!” He exclaimed as he put his luggage on the upper berth.
By his looks, he was a geeky type (or a forced geeky type to be precise), with his hair combed in a thorny fashion upwards and l settled with hair glue , Floral T-shirt and Torn Jeans.
“I Am Tammy” He said extended his hand for a hand shake protocol. I was affirmative, and accepted the protocol. “I am Raghu” . I said.
“Tammy!” said the boy in the opposite cubicle suddenly turning towards us. I wondered how he heard the name in this commotion. “That’s our Dog!”
“Shut up!” said Tammy, while the boy’s mother hushed him away..” You shouldn’t say such things”
“ I am a software engineer” He said proudly, “Into designing ,coding and yo yo man, I like to build things.”
“Whereas people like to play games, I like to design them” He said. A new Zuckerberg is on its way I thought.
“Have you designed any game” I asked losing interest in his ambitions.
“Not yet, yo yo.. but am an aspirant!” he said, taking out his note and scribbling something in it.
“You know I like coding to the core, yo yo.. I am a fresher but people say I have the knowledge of a 10 year experienced guy,, Isnt that great, yo yo” He pushed his noted back into his bag.
“My laptop has run out of battery, otherwise, I wouldn’t be talking to you.. I will be coding”
“hmm I said” again focusing my attention to the book.
“You read these kinds of books?” He said, “ I read only books on Coding: like crack the Code etc, and you know I like discrete structures, Boolean algebra…” he boasted.
I felt he had mugged all the Computer Science subject names, or may be he really was a genius.
The train slowed down and came to a screeching halt near a station. People again flooded the train.
The halt was for only a minute and the train started moving again. I put the book back into the bag and looked outside.
“Clap Clap” There was a rhythmic clapping sound, and this rang alarm bells among the passengers . The geeky guy’s facials expressions changed as the sound started coming nearer combining with the train’s sound effects.
“I hate this situation”, he said. “These Nar Narees create havoc every time whenever the train leaves this Bangarpet station” He wailed.
Indeed the Eunuch’s are a menace in Indian trains. They would come in gangs and plunder the poor! And do what not with men for their mamool (kind of alms), leaving even the toughest guys to bend.
I too had some terrible experiences in and out of the trains and hence had become resistant now.
And my past experience taught me two golden rules that these “one by two” people had:
1. They won’t bother people having food.
2. They won’t bother if the person is asleep.
3. The mostly don’t bother family passengers.
I immediately pulled the packaged food from my bag that I had bought a few minutes ago from the catering service and started eating. I slowly raised my eyebrows to just see what’s happening. Then entered the bunch of baddies into the scene. I glanced at them intermittently avoiding eye contact lest they pester me.
There were three of them, well built, each almost 6 feet tall wearing similar sarees.(might be their “Hijira” Uniforms), waving their hands in the unique styles, one arm on their hips and waving the other to and fro like a pendulum.
“Baayya!” Said the spade tooth eunuch in a masculine tone pinching Mr Geek on the cheek. “Give me whatever you can or I will have to take whatever you have!!”
“Sir.. I mean madam, I am fresher, I don’t have anything!” He screamed as she(he) pinched him hard.
“What is your name?” She asked .
“Tammy”
“Oh that’s a nice name, sounds like us isn’t it?” She said nudging her friend.
“I am Maada, She is Baanja , she is Himmy and you are Tammy!!” She said, “You too can be one among us!”
“Ahh,,but I don’t have any thing right now!” He croacked.
“What are you talking Baaya! You are a SaptuBearu and you say you don’t have money? Where are you keeping the lakhs you are earning!” She shouted rapping him on the head.
Mr Geek’s pride went before his fall. “What?! Give me whatever you can, Or I will..” She started her catchphrase again. “We too will take whatever you have!” The other two joined.
Then they joined their hands and stared an orchestra cum dance show along with the moments of the running train.
“Mein tho rasthe je jaa rahee thi,
Bhel puree khaa rahi thi,
Theri naani maru tho..” Here all the three started rapping him on the head turn by turn.
“Tho mein kya karoo, “
I looked to my side and could see the family were enjoying all these musings like a TV serial.
“Mummy!” he screamed like a school kid.
Finally he turned to me unable to bear this anymore. “Anna, please do something”
Now he came to his normalcy. All the pomp and show was drained out of him in 5 minutes!
Sunday, November 1, 2015
I am the Station Master!
This happened in the last decades of the nightneenth century erstwhile British Empire India.
An English Gentleman got down at CawaGunj Railway Station, Northern Province and bumped into a Dhoti Turban claden Babuji.
'Good Marninge Ji Saar' greeted the Babuji.
The conversation proceeded this way.
'No its Good Evening. How's everything?'
'Teek good hai ji Huzoor'. Said the Babuji.
'Who is the Station Master here?' Asked the Englishman.
'I IZZ the station master' responded the Babuji proudly touching his turban.
'Are you the Station Master?' Asked the Englishman raising his voice pointing at the Babuji.
'Yes Ji Huzoor, I ARE the Station Master'
Replied the Babuji vehemently, blowing his chest by 6 inches.
'Am I the Station Master??' Thundered the Englishman pointing his own Chest.
'No Ji You AM Not the station Master I AM the station Master!!!'
Crestfallen Englishman ran away to England 😊😊.
An old English Teacher's joke retold.
Srinivasa Raghu.
Friday, October 30, 2015
My Head in His Hands
My heart racing like a horse in a race course,
As I ascend the barber's throne,
To keep my head in his hands...
As a reply to my greeting smile
"How are you sir" greets barber wrapping the hair armour around my torso,
he irrigates my hair with Pickled water,
then unleases magical weapons from their sheaths,
.....
The pair of scissors snips its' way,
wading through my side locks creating Dopplers' effect,
sending impulses through my auditory tunnels,
triggering my fear fright hormone,
His blades grazing my temple,
appeasing their hunger with bites of my hair,
munching their way behind my ears,
snip, snip, snip, snip....
then lands the comb,
on the white creases of my darklands,
Divides and rules the territory of my scalp,
with the 'scissors-comb' Combo,
snip, snip, snip, snip....
snippets of my hair flying around me,
As I close my eyes I pray,
That the scissors do not pierce into my brain,
the snipping music echoing my ears,
the magical comb,
combing its way back and forth,
creating shock waves in my heart,
As I feel this ordeal has come to an end,
Then the soap and lather encircles my cheek,
and oh no my throat!
Swiss, swash the swiss blade in Action,
just over my most important veins,
And over my tiny hill - my 'musicbox', then starts clammy sweat in my tightened fist,
moment of mixed feelings,
my mind murmers silently,
oh God! Let his blade not go astray....
Crossing all the rugosities,
it extends it's journey towards the plains of my cheeks,
Hah! cut, cut, cut ooo...me small cut,
to which the ruling barber never heads,
splashes Water and lotion to douse the fire on my cheek,
Finally he Gifts me freedom,
unwrapping me from all my shields
"You are ready sir" he says.
I look myself in the mirror ,
to find a different 'ME'.....
Srinivasa Raghu
Monday, October 26, 2015
This is just going to hurt a little bit
One of the interesting poems learnt as a school going kid.
One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with
my mouth wide open.
And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.
Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.
So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line
or love line or some other important line in your palm;
So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life
most lacking in dignity.
And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and
drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve in your head that
you aren't being irked on.
Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.
And the circumstance that adds most to your terror
Is that it's all done with a mirror,
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only
they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,
But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one
hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you
do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget
that left is right and vice versa?
And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn't because he then
coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a
horse's hoof.
And you totter to your feet and think. Well it's all over now and after
all it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.
And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest, That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good
condition when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won't have to go to the dentist.
– Ogden Nash
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Tinkle: The childhood companion.
I found copy of Tinkle after long time and felt nostalgic. Kapish, Suppandi, Shikari Shambu, the eternal characters brought back my childhood days. Thanks to Anant Pai (affectionately referred as Uncle Pai) who dedicated his life for children.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Fritz 13 vs Stockfish 6 (64 Bit)
Another interesting game between Fritz and StockFish. This resulted in draw as well, but apparently StockFish (White) had an upper hand.
